Permission To Speak Freely

Below is a sample essay from Permission to Speak Freely titled “Meet Fear.” The cover isn’t for real though. We just wanted to put something there to help you remember it’s an essay in a book. As soon as we have the real art done, we’ll trade it out. Cool?

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Meet Fear

Fear has always been the antagonist in my life, and most of the time, I welcomed him to some extent. Ironically, he felt safe enough and I would allow him to tag along as I walked through my day. I guess I’d liken him in some regard to my little brother (no offense, Paul), always following one step behind and occasionally running ahead of me.

Sometimes, he annoyed me a bit, getting in the way when I needed him to leave me alone. In other instances, he’d embarrass me at the least opportune times. I couldn’t always hide him and it was obvious to everyone around that Fear was with me.

In my weakest moments, I’d let his presence overshadow me. A moment in time would pass when I knew I should say something, do something, offer something, or be something to someone but with his strong arms wrapped around my own will, I gave in to Fear too easily.

Not even putting up a fight.

Fear won.

After three decades of letting Fear bully me, I’ve decided enough is enough. It’s time to fight back. Fear may still exist and hide in the corners of my heart and my mind, but I refuse to allow him to have the control he once had.

Well, at least I’m attempting to try.

I realize Fear isn’t only affecting me, but humanity as well. As I look around today, I see him hooking in to many people I encounter.  Their hearts are fighting for their dreams, yet Fear claws away at their spirits, telling them their dreams are impossible.

These people want to have a family, go back to school, quit their job and move to Africa, ask that girl out, volunteer at a shelter, stand up for justice, pose a question, right a wrong, or say hi to their neighbor, but Fear soaks into their bloodstream and prevents them from taking a step in the beautiful, wonderful, difficult life that lays in front of them.

Fear wants to stop our stories.

And with the pain and brokenness and hurt in this world, we simply can’t let it. The human race needs a hope and faith and light now more than ever.

The Scriptures say through the love of Christ, we are to be that hope. That light. Burning brightly on a hill.

Not hidden in the darkness of a shadow by a nemesis named Fear.

Yet, we can’t fight it by ourselves.

I think that’s why so many of us get so close to crossing over the line…

From darkness into light.

From Fear into boldness.

We know that once we take that step into that which illuminates, we’ll be exposed.

Naked.

Ashamed.

Broken.

Possibly alone, and desperately longing to go into hiding again.

And so we stay…

Silent.

We know what it’s like to have Fear screaming in our heads.

The way our minds tell us to run, tell us we’re not good enough. Our hearts palpitate, our hands sweat, and our voices tremble.

Fear’s voice is loud.

Earthshatteringly loud.

But our voices are louder.

Yet most of us don’t believe that.

We don’t know the power we have when we fight Fear back. Fear isn’t strong. He’s derived from something ultimately weak and powerless.

Have you noticed how we’re often impressed by people who appear to be fearless? The ones who fly to the moon. Chase tornadoes. Enter dangerous war zones. Skydive. Speak in front of thousands of people. Stand up to cancer. Raise money and adopt a child that isn’t their flesh and blood?

Why are we so inspired by them?

Because deep down, we are them.

We all share those characteristics. They’re divinely human.

Just like us.

Something in us begins to come alive when we see people overcome Fear. Their actions push us to find that divine piece (or is it peace?) within ourselves in order that we may also overcome Fear.

We wrestle for a while, and get frustrated that, in the end, we’ve lost the battle again (and again, and again) and so we retreat back into ourselves, hiding our secrets and our questions under a cloak of safe normality and commonality.

Yet the only thing that’s normal and common about us is that we all have our issues. Each of us.

We all have…

A shame. A weight. A burden. A question. A past.

And Fear continues to tell us that, because of these secrets, we’re alone.

And that we can’t speak freely.

But Fear is wrong.

We are not alone.

Regardless of what shame, what question, what trepidation, what history, what anxiety, whatever you are carrying deep inside, you are not alone.

Scripture says we have not been given us a spirit of fear.

So why do so many of us experience Fear?

Why do so many of us continue to feel trapped?

And why, of all the places on earth, do we fear revealing our secrets in the church?